On the subject of responsibility, as a society we have a long way to go.  Since we are no longer aborting babies we should talk about parenting.  Parents are in charge.  Your children will and do make poor decisions when left to their own devices.  This isn’t because they are inept or stupid, it is because they are inexperienced and only think about themselves.  Children must be TAUGHT how to consider how their actions affect others.  They need to be TAUGHT their actions and behavior influence what happens in their own future.  They must be TAUGHT about unintended consequences of their actions and how this may lead to their own failure in the future.  They need to be TAUGHT that failure is a possibility, in fact, a probability if they don’t put forth their best effort.  Even if they do put forth their best effort they may fall short of their goals.  In fact, they probably will.  So, they need to be TAUGHT how to pick themselves up after they fall.  They need to be TAUGHT that falling is a good thing.  TAUGHT thinking about others will benefit them in the long run.  Basically, we need to TEACH our children.

The most important thing for parents to remember is this:

YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S PARENT, NOT THEIR FRIEND!

There are times you children will not be happy with you.  There are times when your children may tell you they hate you.  There are times when you will need to physically stop your children from doing something because it is WRONG.  Yes, I said it, WRONG.  Believe it, there is RIGHT and WRONG in our world.  There are times you will need to embarrass your children, so they can learn about shame.  Always remember this, it is better for you to be brutally honest with your children then to have someone who doesn’t care about them be brutally honest with them.  Just watch American Idol for about 15 seconds and you will see people whose parents were never honest with them and for the first time they are hearing the truth, unfortunately these people are now having the truth revealed to them on national television.  Talk about brutal.

When your children have behavior problems in school it is because of them, not their teachers, other students, faculty, janitor, or Barney the Dinosaur.  It is your job to correct this problem.  It is not the responsibility of the school, other students, faculty, janitor, or Barney the Dinosaur to fix your child’s behavior issues.  This is on your shoulders.  You will need to take an active role in the lives of your children, even if it is difficult.  Even if it cuts into your personal time.  Or sleep time.  Or fun time.  Or work time.  Or any other time you may think is your own.  It isn’t.  Your life ended when you decided to become a parent.  You chose to bring a life into this world, they didn’t choose to arrive at your door.  Your responsibility is to them, not the other way around.  Your child’s unruly behavior reflects upon you as a parent.  If you weren’t ready for children, then you should have been using birth control.  Now take responsibility for your actions and do the right thing.

As time goes on your confidence grows along with your abilities.  You may not ever be the best parent in the world, but you can be the best parent you can be.  You may have more children as time goes on.  I have 6.  You will make mistakes as you go along, I know I have.  My first marriage ended in divorce, the same as my current wife’s.  This added a lot of challenges to our parenting because we have ours, mine, and her children.  We treat them all as our own, but there is a whole new world of difficulties which result from the broken homes.  It made us work harder to keep our partnership strong to provide the foundation for all the children.  You will have your own issues; deal with them.  Take your responsibilities seriously and always do the right thing.

My wife and I decided to homeschool our kids several years ago.  To say this is a difficult choice is a major understatement.  Both my wife and I attended public school and just didn’t know what to expect from homeschooling.  All we knew is there is nobody out there who is more interested in our children’s education than we are.  We knew we would put in the effort necessary to make it work.

For us, we started by removing television from our lives.  None at all.  To this day we do not own a television set.  We watch movies on a laptop from time to time, but no television programs.  We started reading books with our children.  Every day and with any subject we felt comfortable with.  Sometimes we read aloud and sometimes we just read different books in the same room.  We bought music instruments for the kids to learn.  Some my wife and I could play and some we couldn’t.  We learned along with the kids until they passed us by and they continue to learn on their own.  We utilized online learning sites.  Kahn Academy is one of our favorites.  Sal has a terrific way of simplifying anything and his self-deprecating sense of humor keeps us laughing.

In the beginning, we were nervous all the time.  We had the same questions everyone else has when it comes to homeschooling.

• Can we do this?
• What do we do when they need to learn something we don’t know?
• What about testing? How will we know they are progressing?
• Where will they learn about social interaction?
• Is it legal?

To answer the last question first, yes, it is legal.  We researched the laws of our state and made sure to follow the rules.  As time went on we found homeschooling to be more powerful than public school could hope to be.  We can teach our children at the pace they can learn and use methods which are interesting to them.  Our curriculum is very fluid.  We change it up all the time based on the interests of the individuals.  The results are obvious.  Our children excel in each subject because they are learning about topics they are interested in.  Social interaction is not a problem.  In fact, almost everyone who meets our children rave about how well behaved and intelligent they are.  In almost every case our children are complimented on how well spoken and polite they are.  It validates our decision to homeschool and makes us proud of the young adults they are becoming.

Is it easy?  Absolutely not.  But it is fun.  It brings our family together and makes our relationship stronger.  Almost immediately we found that the difficult topics come up before we are ready to discuss them but are easier to discuss because we are always in the teaching mode.  Topics like politics, sexual orientation, religion, violence, or sex may come up at inappropriate times, so we simply shift gears and start talking about the current event.  We have an open and frank discussion regarding the topic and explain our viewpoint.  We also discuss differing viewpoints and debate them.  The funny part of homeschooling is I feel I have learned more from my children than I have taught them.  This is because I feel I need to have as much information as possible about each topic, so I can answer the questions they have.  Then they look at situations from a different angle than I have and force me to consider changing my mind.  I know this has opened their minds as well as my own.

Part of teaching my children is teaching them how to stay safe.  There are people in this world who want to do harm to other people, usually those who can’t protect themselves.  I know I never want to have to rely on someone else for my own safety and security and I don’t want our children to have to either.  This means that part of their education is how to take care of themselves.  This includes simple household tasks as well as personal protection.  All our children can cook meals from scratch, bake bread from flour, wash clothes, clean the house, drive, build a campfire without matches or a lighter, use knives, shoot guns, camp in the wild, and maintain overall situational awareness wherever they are.

To some, the use of guns may be offensive.  I happen to disagree.  In fact, I find it offensive that in our current society people allow others to keep them safe and secure.  Our safety Is our own responsibility and we should all take it seriously.  Each of our children has learned gun safety from the time they were under 10.  They must prove their ability before they can handle an unloaded firearm.  (Even though all responsible gun owners know there is no such thing as an unloaded firearm.)  Then they must prove themselves again before loading the weapon, let alone firing it.  Each of my sons have built their own rifle from the ground up.  While this may be disturbing to some, it is important to our family to be able to protect ourselves.  It has also built a heightened level of awareness and responsibility for each of my children.  We have taught our children that violence is the last resort, but if needed used to the minimum extent necessary to end the situation.

Another part of our instruction on firearms is that guns do not kill people.  Guns are not designed to kill people.  Guns are designed to propel an object at high speed to an intended target.  If this target is a person, it will injure or kill that person.  Guns are controlled by people and people are ultimately responsible for what they do.  If I shoot a person, it is not my gun’s fault, it is mine.  I need to take responsibility for what I do and not shift the blame elsewhere.

The more my family experiences the more conservative we become in our thinking.  For the most part we want to be left alone to do what we know to be right for us.  We do not tell other people to do what we do or force our opinions upon them and we ask for the same in return.  But currently there are too many people wanting to force their opinions on others.  The gay community, anti-gun community, Antifa, and a biased media are forcing their opinions on others.  These groups are lobbying for legislation to force everyone to agree with their beliefs.  Both sides of the aisle are using fear to promote their agendas and the agendas are about control.  Being controlled is not the American Dream I have.

Just because you believe something does not make it right.  It does not make it wrong either.  In fact, what is right for you may be wrong for others.  If you are gay and believe this is right for you, then go live your life the way you want, but understand that others may not feel like you do.  Don’t try and force them to embrace your lifestyle.  Be secure in knowing you are living your life the way you choose and let others live the way they choose.

Our children have been taught to be accepting of others, while forming their own opinions.  Just because we disagree does not mean we can’t have a positive relationship where we can learn from each other.  Some people have been offended by comments I make, but the funny thing is when people meet me and my family they want to know how they can do what we do.  After we share our stories, most people tell us they don’t have enough time, or it would be too hard for their personal situation.  I am truly sorry people feel this way.  My family life has become more fulfilling every day since we began the homeschooling journey and my family tells me they feel the same way, so I am sure it would work for others if they would commit to the journey.